Crib Club Comedy

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Well, due to a very hectic schedule and teaching 5 and a half hours of fitness classes, there was no cleaning up around the house today. My messes will have to last another day. Oh well.

I did manage to get my Tuesday Trainer video in on time though. Yay!

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Luckily I wasn’t wearing these pants today.

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Yeah, they were still dirty from the other day. I only taught two classes (as opposed to six) with a hole in my crotch a few days ago. Isn’t that lovely?

Tonight, instead of a hole to worry about, I kept getting distracted by my outie belly button (Joaquin has another name for it- see below). It kept pointing at me in the mirror. Ugh. Not very flattering. It did give me the idea for this post though.

It’s time for an open mic night (or morning, whatever).

Disclaimer- I am deliriously exhausted right now, so while I think the following conversations and quotes are hilarious, I am aware that it might have something to do with my overly tired brain. I have the show Jackass on in the background if that gives you any indication of what I’m dealing with here.

Ready for some fun Crib Club Comedy? Of course you are.

So… grab a sweet SunButter treat or, if you’re not wanting something sweet, try some

Flatout “crackers” with jalapeño yogurt dip and some light jarlsberg cheese for a healthy snack.

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turbocharged chainsaw Flatout “crackers”

Take one Flatout wrap and cut it into cracker size pieces. Spray a baking pan with nonstick spray. Place pieces on baking sheet and top with a little more nonstick spray. Sprinkled with sea salt, pepper and a little garlic (or whatever seasoning you want).

Baked at 400 for 7-10 minutes.

Yes, it is the perfect 100 calorie serving and can go with just about anything.

Okay.

Without further due, let me introduce our stars.

Joaquin

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and Judah.

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Last week, some of you saw this on Facebook.

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These guys pretty much say something funny every day. And, well, let me just tell you that Joaquin’s fascination with my belly button wasn’t a one time thing. Good thing he wasn’t with me at the gym tonight.

 

This morning it sounded a little like this in their bedroom before I walked in:

“Grandma. GRANDMA.” – They were in for a big disappointment when boring mom was going to open the door.

“Daddy. Working. Money.” – Yes and thank goodness because Lord knows I’m not exactly rolling in the dough.

“Running. Mommy running.” – Okay, I get it. I need to start training for my upcoming marathon. I’m on it kids, but you will NOT be running it with me this time.

“Waaa-keen. Ha ha. Waaa-keen.” – What is he up to in there?

“Uh Oh.” – That’s when I decided to venture in and found Joaquin with the blinds in his hand. It could have been worse. Much worse. At least their pajamas were still on.

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A couple more random sayings as of late:

“Poo poo” (While holding one of the pine cones that had been pulled off our fake Costco Christmas tree.) – Um, no. Not poo poo. Pine cone.

“Mommy tooted.” No comment. He must be getting confused with this class or this dance.

“Daddy tooted.” – That’s more like it.

“Mommy’s pocket.” (While trying to put my cell phone down my shirt. I have a tendency to keep it there a lot of the time.) – I should probably find another place to put my phone. It’s just so darn convenient. It is the perfect “pocket”.

Kitty ewwww” – Why is my video camera never close by when he’s coughing up one of those air balls? Now THAT video could make us some money.

 

Okay, now that I’ve taken way too much time writing this, I’m realizing that these may not be funny at all. For that, I am sorry.

 

But, before I go, STUFT daddy wanted a crack at the open mic.

 

“Come on. You’ve GOT to be doing that on purpose.” (He thinks I sing off key on purpose. I don’t.) – Um, do you even know that I was a People Mover in Junior High? I can sing (most of the time). Maybe I just need a new song. Like “Mahna Mahna”.

 

And just because, an encore conversation.

 

Me- “The boys need some more jeans.”

Andrew- “Just don’t wash them as much.”

Me- “But they get so dirty everyday. Yeah, I guess I only wash my jeans after I wear them about 5 times.”

Andrew- “I’ve been wearing mine for 6 months.”

 

I don’t know whether to say “your welcome” or “I’m sorry.”

Smile

I’ll try to redeem myself tomorrow. And later this week with a giveaway. Oh yes, that’s right. Another giveaway! Yippee!!!

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Comments

  1. 1

    LOL! Jeans fit so much better after wear #15. ;)

  2. 2

    ha! I loved the mommy’s penis comment – that’s hilarious!!

    • 2.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      I love/hate that comment. Good that it makes me laugh. Not good that my belly button sticks out that much that he thinks it’s a penis. I need some pasties for my belly button.

  3. 3
    Francine says:

    Keep these coming Kristin!!!! I loved and laughed at every one of the comments!!! Andrew sounds like my dad making that comment about wearing his same jeans for half a year…..

  4. 4

    Ha! Andrew’s jean comment definitely wins this round! Kids are so funny sometimes. Just last night Lincoln touched my chest and said “boob!” I wonder who taught him that one :)

  5. 5

    Oh kids! I am always amazed at the things that come out of the mouths of the kids that I babysit! 99% of the time, I am very glad we are not anywhere but in the privacy of a house… And it seems your two boys are no exception to that! :)

  6. 6

    There are never enough jeans. I have to peel them off the boys anytime I want to wash them! I hope you got some rest and have a great day!

  7. 7

    Those darn kids! lol…loved them all!
    And Travis is the SAME WAY!! He won’t let me touch his pants. Sometimes, I wash them during the day while he’s at work and replace them before he gets home. What is wrong with guys?!?!

  8. 8

    I only wash my jeans if they are visibly dirty. They are too damn comfy when they’re… well worn in. I love children’s hilarious banter, and I think you should definitely do more of these posts! :)

    • 8.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      I know Christin. Jeans are soo much better once they’ve been worn a couple (or around 7) times. :) Thanks for the feedback. I was worried it was a little too all over the place, but I guess people can relate. :)

  9. 9

    Mommy’s penis…too funny! At least they have an open mind and are understanding body parts. That’s just intelligence right there.

    • 9.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Good point Sara. At least they know body parts. And at least their smart enough to recognize that my belly button sticks out enough to resemble one. Not good for my though. ha!

  10. 10

    I loved the mommy’s penis tweet – I totally shared that one with my hubby. :) And 6 months of unwashed jeans – impressive!! His must be better than mine, mine get stretched out after a few wears and I wash them to make them fit me again. :)

  11. 11

    Keep writing down all the cute things they say, it gets better. And the great thing about not cleaning up is that it is always there the next day, it doesn’t go away. (did I say great?)

    • 11.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Yes you said great. It might be a “great” thing again today because we’ve got some other things going on around here. It’ll still be there tomorrow. Lucky me. :) ha!

  12. 12
    Brandy says:

    Don’t sell yourself short…all of these made me giggle!

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  1. [...] to go check out the Crib Club Comedy routine of the morning. They’re yelling for some “moo-zic”. Things must be getting crazy up [...]

  2. [...] get to go again (I made sure not to put on these pants this morning). I’m also a piece of work because it took me over five minutes to mess with my [...]

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