Reality Check

 

Or bill actually.

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Yep. I’m not proud. Totally forgot to pay the water bill. And let me just say that this is not the first time this has happened.

Let me also tell you a little something.

I am good at a few things:

running races, pushing a darn heavy stroller, experimenting in the kitchen, working out, teaching classes, laughing, grocery shopping, organizing the pantry, finding cheap wine, being goofy, procrastinating, sneaking in veggies, taking countless pictures of green food,

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(recipe coming tomorrow for these amazing protein pancakes)

eating broccoli slaw 

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(Side note- Today I roasted it. I put in on a pan sprayed with nonstick spray then sprayed the top and sprinkled garlic powder, garlic salt, pepper and sea salt on top. Baked it in the convection oven at 375 for 10 minutes or so. It was awesome. I topped it with Trader Joe’s Organic Tomato and Roasted Red Pepper Soup and some goat cheese.)

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oh, and well, getting distracted and talking about food (see previous long rant about my roasted broccoli slaw), putting things off until tomorrow, and “cleaning” my desk by clearing it into a box only to not look in the box for weeks (maybe that’s where my water bill is).

 

I am not good at:

prioritizing, remembering to clean the litter box, giving Kitty a bath when he really needs one (like right now), keeping all my finances and STUFT fitness book keeping together, anything to do with computers, remembering where I put things, keeping receipts, returning emails, tackling big projects, being on time for anything and making huge life decisions.

Oh…..life decisions.

In just the past week I made a decision to not return to my full-time job as a PE teacher that I have been on leave of absence from since the boys were born. I had always thought I’d be a teacher forever. Somehow life happened. I just couldn’t go back after the boys. Now, I feel like things are leading me a different path.

I’m at a cross roads. I have a million different jobs each day, one of which is owning my own business. I’m working nonstop on one thing or another. However, none of my jobs are really raking in the dough. Somehow though we’re staying afloat.

To say that I’m scared and worried about the future is an understatement. Teaching was a secure job with benefits. Letting go of that is hard. I’m terrified. Every single day I question whether or not I’m making the right decision to not go back to teaching. Every. Single. Day.

On the flip side, I feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. Somewhere along the way I started my own business and got bit by the bug for making YouTube videos. More importantly, somewhere along the way I fell into this healthy living blogging community and found amazing friends like you.

Right now I’m not really doing the best that I can around the house or with just life in general. I need to take a step back for a bit and organize my thoughts, this blog, my bills, my closets, coupons, emails, finances, etc. (At least the pantry is organized. Ha.)

 

If I don’t get my act together soon this new truck of ours

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just may have to be our one and only family vehicle.

(And yes, a fireplace brush cleans it up just marvelously.)

 

At least these guys don’t seemed worried.

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I hope and pray that we can provide them with everything they need.

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I also hope and pray that five years from now I can look back (with clean, organized closets) and know that I made the right decision for our family.

Heck, five years from now I want the boys and I to be on the freaking Ellen Show cooking and working it out with her. Now that’s just a little too big of a dream now isn’t it?

I know I’m never going to be caught up with life, (at least for the next 16 or so years), but I do want to get to a point where I’m not thinking about the future and wishing I’d done a better job at this whole personal business and blogging thing every day.

Thank goodness for STUFT Daddy, his amazing ability to deal with me, and all his hard work (he has a couple side jobs in addition to his lead bird keeper job too). I am one lucky mama.

 

Thanks for listening, or well, reading. I better go tackle my “boxes” now. Oops, wait, maybe I should pay that water bill first. Oh man.

There’s still time to enter the Chobani Champions giveaway. I may or may not have snuck one of the vanilla chocolate yogurts for my afternoon snack today.

Smile

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Comments

  1. 1
    Erin says:

    Oops! I guess I’m to blame for that whole clearing your desk into the box thing. Let me be the first to tell you that no one has their life together in every area. I know you know that but it’s nice to be reminded sometimes. :-) You rock at the things you’re good at… and that’s an awesome list! You’re healthy, happy, a good mom, a good wife… all of the things that really matter. I truly believe that everything else will fall into place. You’ve got this!! Now go pay your water bill so you can bathe Kitty and those beautiful boys of yours.

  2. 2

    I am glad you published this! Deep for a Saturday afternoon especially though ;) But I am confident you are getting into something exciting (in a good way!) and the future will only be bigger and better! I don’t think the Ellen Show is too much of a dream at all. What’s the point of dreaming if you don’t shoot big, right?!

  3. 3

    Oh my gosh! You and I are too much alike it’s kind of scary! I just told Tony how out of control my paying of the bills has gotten! I have no organization because I have no time! I just turned in my 2 week notice at the gym because it was dead end and I spend so much time going from place to place not accomplishing anything! So, I’m focusing on my nutrition and recipe development business while I’m getting my personal training certification from home! No, not much money, but hopefully it will get there eventually! I’m thinking about you and I hope you get things settled soon. Why do we have to live so far apart? xoxo

  4. 4
    Stephanie*Saunders says:

    You are very fortunate to be doing what you love, I say keep working hard and in the end you will be at peace and most likely it will benefit the boys because they have a mama who is content with life and what she does. And I can’t wait to see you on Ellen in upcoming years :) any things possible!

  5. 5
    Sandy Carlos says:

    I agree with Kinley, Ellen is not that big a dream. Do like Oprah says, make a collage to put on your fridge, pics of Ellen, pic’s of you doing what you do, pics of money…and start to visualize that it’s going to happen…I swear things will start to fall into place. Maybe your connection with Bob will play a part in that too since he is a celebrity…I see this happening for you. Maybe things are already leading into that direction…..YOu have made your boys your priority, that was the right decision! As long as you can pay your bills, (as long as you can remember to pay your bills) ..and as long as you have broccoli slaw to eat, I mean that’s cheap, right? you will be fine…….and your kids will be happy because they have you, not a sitter! We have faith in you Kristin!

    • 5.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Oh Sandy- such kind words. I’ve never put a visualization board together. Maybe I should (once my piles are organized and all). :) Good point about broccoli slaw being cheap too! Ha ha!

  6. 6

    I say congratulations on making the decision to quit teaching and pursue your newer endeavors. I think it’s a great decision because you have so much going for you and you going great places…like the Ellen Show! LOVE HER. Teaching is something you can always go back to if you need or want. I’m so proud of you and can’t wait to see where your career goes. You are such an inspiration! And who needs water inside? It falls from the sky. There are lakes around. it’s obtainable ;)

    • 6.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Thanks for putting the whole water thing into perspective. It doesn’t fall from the fly that often here though. :) Sara- you are too nice. Let’s both go visit Ellen together, shall we? :)

  7. 7

    I’m not good at prioritizing at finances either – which is why the Husband is in charge of that ALL the time. I just spend the money. ;) (much to his dismay) I think that you need to follow your gut, and if your gut says no more teaching, then you shouldn’t do it!

  8. 8

    As ALWAYS, praying for you, Kristin! I honestly think your family is your biggest job. Make sure you’re doing THAT one right, and let the other stuff fall away. Some days, that’s easy to see. Others, I have to take a step back. We’re by no means rich, but we’re making it work by me “staying home” and I know that my children are my first ministry!

    • 8.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Linds- I knew I could count on you for prayers and putting if all in perspective. Time to step back and focus on what’s really important. :) Can you move closer please?

  9. 9

    I just piled all of our files into one big pile on the bedroom floor. Somehow, I have been “filing” our life into one large file box and 5 of those huge expandable folders. I made it through one and gave up on my organization for the day. Honestly, the throw it all into a box and don’t look at is sounding better and better. Trust me, I get it – we all do Kristin. It’s so hard to stay on top of things all the time, especially when you throw kids into the mix. You made the right decision b/c it’s the decision YOU made at this point in your life. Things will work out…and setting up all your bills on automatic bank draft might make life a little easier. :)

    • 9.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      I’ve been “filing” our life into random boxes for way too long. It’s comforting hearing that you have a pile too. I always think your house is perfect. :)

  10. 10
    Shannon says:

    Oh, Kristin…once again, you hit the nail on the head. I have piles of this and that all over the pace and there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. Life is crazy, and we are all exactly where we are supposed to be at this moment. Just roll with it and keep dreaming BIG because without our dreams, what do we have? Much love!!! :)

  11. 11
    lindsay says:

    can i win the chobani champions? even though i am far away? I feel like i should be your kid. I need to be fed like them. so good!!

  12. 12
    Amy Zirkle says:

    Kristin – you will NEVER EVER regret being there with your kids – trust me I know – right after my oldest was born I returned to my full time DC job at a big important company in a big important job only to find that within a month I was laid off – and I have NEVER looked back (oy sorry for the caps). I managed to work out a part time gig which I was able to do from home and I remember working 9-11 when he napped and 2-4 when he napped – of course that changed and then my youngest came along and when confronted with an opportunity to go back to full time work I thought long and hard and then I realized they are only kids for a short period of time – oh it’s true what everyone says – it goes by way too flippen fast — you are doing so many wonderful things already and so long as your family manages, take comfort in being there for your kids as long as you can – trust me – when you’re ready to go back full time working you will find something – (but let me tell you that even now with 13 and 11 year olds – I’m still hesitant) – shame on me for rambling – but you keep doing what your’e doing – No regrets!!! take care!

    • 12.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Oh Amy… Ramble anytime. :) My “work” schedule sounds a lot like what your was. Early morning and nap time is all I get. I need to make it work. Ha. Sounds like it was a blessing you got laid off when you did. Funny how life works out sometimes. Your boys are 11 and 13??? I bet it goes fast. Holy cow.

  13. 13

    I know that feeling well! Things will workout – they always do. And it’s exciting too… so many possibilities! Including the possibility of cooking on Ellen (can I please come if that happens?!).

    Just be sure to take care of yourself!

  14. 14

    Are we the same person? Seriously. Ha! I feel ya on the life decisions thing… its never fun or easy. Doesn’t it feel so good to just make your decision though? Praying for you! I have a question… what do you have your degree in for teaching PE? Long story but I’m actually looking into doing that in the next year. I currently have a BA in health psychology so I need to figure out where to go from there.

    • 14.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Ashley- are we the same person? :) My degree in in Luberal Studies with an emphasis in PE. I had to take a bunch of tests to get my single subject teaching credential for PE and Health. Loved everything about it though. Email me any questions!

  15. 15

    I, too, am a teacher, and although my husband and I don’t have kids yet, we have talked about what will happen with that day comes. He is a self-employed trader, which is about as insecure a job as you can get! My teaching job provides our insurance and a stable check each month. We want me to be able to stay home with kids when that day comes, but the prospect of quitting such a stable job scares me. That being said, I don’t think I could leave my kiddos at home all day while I go off and spend my time with other kids – it would just feel wrong.

    I think you’re doing the right thing. I don’t think you’ll ever regret staying home with your kids.

    • 15.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Meg- things will totally present themselves differently when you have kids. It’s so weird. That’s part of the reason it’s so hard to let go… the stability of teaching. It’s scary not having that after being used to it for do long. Oh well. :)

  16. 16
    Angie says:

    I don’t have kids yet, but it sounds like you made the right decision. You get to actually raise your boys and do a job that you are passionate about. Things always work out.

  17. 17

    Green pancakes make do a double every time. I’ve never tried them…Not sure why I’m fine putting them in a smoothie but not a baked good!

  18. 18
    Jessica says:

    I don’t know what it is about organizing but I hate doing it, but I feel so great when everything is organized. I tend to do the “throw it in the box” for later technique too and then it becomes overwhelming. We have filing cabinets, but the room they are in is a mess and I don’t even like going in there. Sound familiar? My plan for my “two days off” this week is to organize, but we will see how far that goes!
    You work very hard and wear a lot of “hats”, but that has allowed you some awesome opportunities you likely wouldn’t be able to do if you were teaching full time. I think you have made the best decision for you and your family and that is what is most important!

  19. 19

    I’ve been there, twice in fact with the natural gas bill, so you are definitely not alone. In fact, you are not alone in any aspect of your life but you know that :) Career decisions are always the toughest especially when it is something you love but ultimately you know the best decision to make for you and your family.
    This is one of my favourite quotes: “Life is Change. Surrender to it. Allow it. Create it.”

  20. 20
    Sara says:

    You said you “put things off until tomorrow, and “clean” my desk by clearing it into a box only to not look in the box for weeks (maybe that’s where my water bill is).”

    Me too! I totally relate (and I don’t have kids! Ahh! It will be madness then!) I hope to get my booty in gear before I have kids so I don’t really suffer later. I honestly have no excuse! (Except I’m good at making them.) You work so hard, Kristin! I have no idea how you get it all accomplished!! I love reading about your adventures and wondering how you get it all done (exercising, working, teaching classes, taking care of the kids and your pets! Just whoa!) You are an inspiration. ;-) Now I feel all mushy. I feel a little scattered too like my thoughts were incomplete. Just like my filing system for my bills that just has statements stacked on top of it instead of neatly placed in the labeled folders. Oops.

  21. 21
    janetha says:

    why have i never roasted broccoli slaw? i love it and eat it raw or steamed or stir fried.. but never roasted! gotta try this! i think i need to go pay my water bill, come to think of it…

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