Boston- I’m Speechless

 

I don’t even know what to say (or think or write actually).

I can’t imagine what everyone in Boston is going through.

I can’t imagine being there right now in the aftermath of the tragedy.

I can’t imagine being there when it happened.

Being there without my boys.

 

My heart goes out to all of those affected by this tragedy: runners, spectators, volunteers, medical personnel, police officers…… the list goes on and on.

I want to cry for them.

I want to cry for this horrible thing that happened.

 

I also want to cry because by the grace of God, I am safe.

I am so blessed.

So blessed to be home.

God works in mysterious ways and He decided to protect us by sidelining me with this injury.

I can’t even express how thankful I am that He chose to keep Andrew and I here.

We should be in Boston until Wednesday. Thank goodness we are not.

 

I feel guilty.

Guilty that yesterday I was home with my loved ones while so many were witnesses and victims of this horrific event.

Guilty that I was having a hard time not being in Boston and was upset about cancelling our trip.

Guilty that I was feeling sorry for myself because of my injury and that I couldn’t race.

 

I don’t know why God chose to protect us, but He did.

I am so grateful.

I almost feel undeserving.

 

 

Today, let’s pray.

Let’s take every single life moment we have and give thanks for being healthy and safe while we pray for those that aren’t.

 

I’ve seen a couple of things on instagram and twitter about runners showing their support today by wearing Boston colors and going for a run or a walk.

I’m in.

I may not be able to run at the moment, but I can walk. I can show support. I can wear this shirt even though I didn’t complete “The Challenge” (this year anyway).

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I can give thanks for being protected and for a mighty power looking after me.

I can PRAY.

I can hug and cuddle my boys

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a million and one times.

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I can be in the moment the best I can today and every day.

Smile

Boston 2013

And my goodness, I can give thanks for blessings in disguise.

Thank you so much for your emails and comments. It’s so crazy how life happens. Let’s do what we can to help all the others that were not as fortunate.

 

Just curious:

Has anything like that every happened to you? Something you really wanted didn’t work out, but turned out it was a major blessing in disguise?

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Comments

  1. 1
    Louise says:

    bless bless, all things happen for reasons… but a reason for this terror in Boston I can’t find one, just a senseless useless act of hate. thank you for your post K, and i hope you are feeling more comfortable with your injury now. some have lost limbs. LIMBS. and an injury will heal, grow back, be ok. :) xx i hope you didn’t have any friends that were affected, and my heart goes out to you if so. x

  2. 2
    Deb E says:

    I had just read your post about your race disappointment (I”m behind in my social media–blame it on new tax software!) when I saw the tragedy and thought of you and how your injury was truly a blessing. Yes, can’t tell you how many times that has happened to me. I pay attention now and look for it–it may take a while but disappointments can really turn out just fine, and even better. My sister calls them a God wink and he really does look out for us, we just need to realize it and be thankful for all we have at the moment. My favorite Bible verse is Psalm 23, and when I get too full of myself, it comforts me: “I shall not want”–just sets me straight.

  3. 3

    A very similar thing actually happened to me – and it still gives me chills.

    In September, 2011 – my family had travelled from Australia to the US for a holiday at Disneyland. My Dad was already in the US for a work conference, however, the people he was supposed to meet had to change their plans and he decided to come over to California to be with us one day sooner. His flight into California was on September 10, 2011.

    A month or so after everything happened on that dreadful, horrifying day – we heard the flight numbers of the flights which had been hijacked and my dad thought they sounded familiar. As it turns out that my dad was scheduled on that second flight which hit the twin towers.

    We were so close to being 10,000 miles away from home and losing my Dad and I have been so, so grateful ever since that that wasn’t the case.

    It’s strange the way things happen. But as they say, when we’re busy making plans – God laughs – because he has his own plans for our lives.

  4. 4
    kymberly Swope says:

    Something similar has happened to me. I am from New Orleans. I left there 4 months before Katrina to move to Pensacola to help my sister who had been devastated by Ivan the year prior. She & I had a squabble which led me to move, not back home, but to Tulsa. Funny how even the worst moments of your life turn into the ones you remember as a turning point or that lifesaving one. You see, I wouldn’t have evacuated. I never did & I lived in the flood zone. I wouldn’t be here today if I had taken the other bus.

  5. 5
    Kori says:

    When you were talking about how you had to cancel your trip, I wanted to say…you just aren’t supposed to be going, maybe the plane was going to crash. I never wrote that to you, thought it wasn’t appropriate! Yesterday when seeing this on the news, I instantly thought of you! I have never even met you & yet so relieved you are safe! The weather is cold/snowy/rainy here & I’m going for a run today anyway!! Least I can do….. & obviously I will pray for all! BTW this post was great, very moving & very well stated!!!

  6. 6
    meredith says:

    I thought of you immediately when I heard the news – thinking thank gd you didn’t go. I also thought of Skinny Runner, hoping she was ok. Amazing how one feels like they know their “blog friends”…I have no words for this tragedy although I needed to find some to inform my 9 year old son as he got off the school bus yesterday. Just another terrible unspeakable act that needed to be explained to our children when we can’t even explain it ourselves.

  7. 7
    Tess says:

    AMEN!

  8. 8
    Kathleen says:

    I am SO happy that you are safe. As a mom for three kids under 4 I can’t even imagine how scary it would be for you from a parent’s point of view. As soon as I heard, I felt a wash of relief because I knew you weren’t there and you were the only one I knew going. Perhaps, in some weird way, this will help your injury recover faster. Maybe it will allow you to be less focused on hurrying up your healing (which is so so hard for us dedicated exercisers!!), and just really rest it, which will hopefully make it heal faster than it would have. I hope this isn’t coming off in the wrong tone or anything. I am a big supporter of you and I guess I am just trying to help find another silver lining for you in this craziness!

    • 8.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      You said it Kathleen- I need to REALLY REST (even though it’s so hard), but that’s what needs to be done. Never coming off in the wrong tone. I obviously need to be told a million and one times. :)

  9. 9

    God certainly does work in mysterious ways! It is such a horrible tragedy, I still can’t wrap my mind around it. I’m so glad you are home safe though!

  10. 10
    lindsay says:

    angels… they were watching over you. HIS PLAN! Not OURS!

  11. 11

    I just got chills reading this. When I heard the news yesterday, I thought of you almost immediately. So glad you’re home and safe.

  12. 12

    You are the first person that I thought of when I heard the news about the Boston runners. I kept on thinking “that could have been her…” Not to detract from the great tragedy that happened yesterday, but you are right- a blessing in disguise.

  13. 13
    Kelli says:

    I thought of you when I heard the news and among many other horrible feelings, felt at peace for you. To have a little insight on your situation and see the many ways God worked this through for you is a blessing to me! God is good all the time, even in our difficulties His plan>ours! Take care:)

  14. 14
    Kristin says:

    Glad you’re home safe and sound!

  15. 15
    Kathy says:

    Even though I knew you weren’t running and weren’t even there I TOTALLY thought of you when I heard about this….and with the exact same thoughts as you stated!! You were home!! I am thinking you were meant to be home for sure!!

    So crazy what life gives us and how it turns out sometimes. I can only imagine the emotions you went through too…..Prayers with the rest of Boston for sure!

  16. 16
    Sharron says:

    I understand what you mean by feeling guilty, but guilt is not of God. It’s hard in situations like this to praise Him for our safety when others were not kept safe. It almost feels wrong, and I get that BUT His ways are not our ways. He has a plan for each one of us and He will work good in the people’s lives affected by this. It is beyond OK to be grateful and thankful that He is working in your life and kept you safe. Even if you wouldn’t have been injured, just being there would have been traumatic!! Still being there today away from your boys would be traumatic, so praise the Lord you are home!! Yesterday when I first heard the news, you were the first person I thought of. I had one of my girls with me and shared with her about how you were suppose to be there but because of an injury were not able to go. How you had been so disappointed and not understanding why you were not able to go to something you had worked so hard for. I told her this is a valuable life lesson on how faith works. When things don’t work out how we want them to or how we think is the best way, we need to remember in these times who is in control of all things and trust Him. We don’t see the future, He does. Sometimes we can see why things happen (or don’t happen) like this race and we can praise Him for how He ordains our paths. But it is when we don’t see why that takes faith that He knows best.
    Hope you have a wonderful day today and hug on those babies lots and lots!! I know these days with little ones can be very hard, but it goes so quick! My oldest daughter graduates HS in a month and I promise it feels like just yesterday our days were filled with play dates and playgrounds!! Cherish each day!!

    • 16.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Oh Sharron- your insight and words are just amazing. Thanks so much. You’re right, such a valuable life lesson.
      PS- I can’t imagine these guys even going to school yet. :)

  17. 17
    Holly says:

    It’s heartbreaking, shocking, and so, so sad on soooo many levels. Glad you are safe, and my prayers go out to those who are directly (and indirectly) affected by this tragedy.

  18. 18
    Jennifer G says:

    It’s so good to read this post. I am praying, too. Actually I felt compelled to do so yesterday morning for my friend who was running…wasn’t sure why at the time but I ended up praying for her safety. Remembering this when I heard the news (and realizing she was close to finishing at that time) gave me chills. God was protecting her and using our prayers. Unbelievable.
    I am very glad you are home and safe.

  19. 19

    So glad that you’re safe, sound and at home. My heart is just breaking for all those affected.

  20. 20
    Kinley says:

    Hi Kristin, I haven’t been keeping up with your blog but knew you were headed for Boston at one point and as bad as it sounds, I am so glad God kept you safe by keeping you home, even though it was for injury. He really works in mysterious ways. Please don’t feel guilty though. It’s only natural to feel sad when things don’t go the way we expect, you are most certainly not the only runner who pouted over a ruined race or injury. Go give those boys a squeeze! Thinking of you, Kinley.

  21. 21

    My friend had qualified and should have been there as well. She is going through some trying times right now and had to back out. So thankful now. Sometimes when we think things are going wrong for no reason, it turns out it was right all along.

  22. 22
    Ammie says:

    I thought of you immediately. I’m a fairly new reader and not even a runner but I have come to love your views on life, food, & parenting. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I am continually reminded how guided I am in my life, how we all are guided through life. I’m glad you’re home safe with your babies. xoxo

  23. 23

    I also thought of you straight away when I heard about the Boston Marathon tragedy; its awful but so pleased you are all ok.
    It’s definitely strange how things work out sometimes, but you certainly have nothing to feel guilty for and you obviously just weren’t meant to be there when this horrendous occurrence took place. Awful. :(

  24. 24
    Jessica says:

    I was watching at the finish line, almost exactly at the spot of the explosions, and had walked away 20 mins before the bombs went off. I was two blocks away when it happened. It was a very close call for me. You are SO lucky you were not there. I am a daily reader of your blog and did think about you and the timing of your injury. I have lived in Boston all my life and, as a runner myself, marathon monday is a day I look forward to all year. Someone was absolutely looking out for you.

  25. 25
    Kim Perry says:

    Kristin,
    I had the same thoughts as you. I ran mile 16 to (almost) 26 with my friend and we were stopped 1/2 mile from the finish line. The “what if” thoughts have not stopped racing through my mind. It was a very scary day. I’m glad you and your family are safe!
    xoxo Love & prayers

  26. 26
    Emily says:

    God definitely works in mysterious ways. You can be certain you have a guardian angel watching over you! So happy you and your precious family weren’t there! <3

  27. 27

    The Lord works in mysterious ways…I wasn’t ever planning on being there yesterday and yet I can’t even explain how shook up I feel about it, just sick to my stomach.

  28. 28

    You are so correct that the world works in mysterious ways, I’m glad you’re safe. It’s a terrible tragedy what happened and all of us that were not there to witness it should count our blessings and send prayers, thoughts and support the way of those that have.

  29. 29
    aimee says:

    very eloquently said…..i have an idea but would have no idea on how to implement….shirts! like a finishers shirt with a huge american/boston flag and/or a saying and date to be sold to help medical costs or wherever needed…

  30. 30
    janet says:

    Last year was my third trip to Boston. I got on the plane Saturday before the race with the feeling I was coming down with something. A nice plane ride helped that kick into high gear! Then the news of the weather hit, then the BAA’s offer of a deferment for runners wanting to postpone until 2013. I thought about it, and decided that I knew that I would not BQ that Monday but I should make it my last hurrah and enjoy what I could of the race. For the last year, I’ve been second guessing my decision and wondering why I didn’t just wait to run when I was healthy and in much more reasonable race temps. My mom sent me an email yesterday saying “I know it’s hard for you, but I’m so glad you aren’t running today.” My response was “And I’m even more glad you aren’t on Boylston watching me.” Much like you, I feel sad, guilty, and totally blessed. Be well, and my thoughts are with you for a speedy recovery. We will all continue to pray for those that were touched by this terrible tragedy.

  31. 31
    Jessica Tan says:

    Even from sunny Singapore and a good 18 hours by flight away, I thought of you first thing when I heard the Boston bombing! Like Kori, when I read about your injury I thought its God’s way to make you stop, stop for what I didn’t know then, but I could sense its to avoid something huge. Over the years, I have learnt to listen to the Holy Spirit that dwells in us… Daily grind of life has a way of deafening our ears to the Holy Spirit. I m so glad that you are okay and at the same time so sad for those folks in the disaster. I just got news that a loved one is suffering from cancer and it’s in the final stage .. So it’s been a hard day .. Your safety is one bright spark today … Don’t know why, but as I write this, tears just formed … I don’t even know you personally but I m so moved by His mercy and grace for you and your family. In ALL things I praise Him who cause all things to come together for our good. God bless you.

    • 31.1
      STUFT Mama says:

      Oh Jessica- as I read this comment tears are in my eyes. I’m so sorry for you and for your loved one. I will keep them in my prayers. God bless you too!

  32. 32

    I thought of you yesterday thinking how glad I was that you weren’t there! God does work in marvelous and mysterious ways! :) Glad you are safe friend!

  33. 33
    Laura says:

    Wonderful post, I am so glad that you and your family are safe. I’ll be honest, my faith in a higher power has faltered over the years. But I do believe things happen for a reason. You stayed back and were injured, and it very well could have saved you and your family. I don’t know why or how these things happen, but they do. At least we know the running community is a family and is amazing and will survive this and come out on top. In the mean time, hug the ones you love, and be grateful for the day.

  34. 34

    I also thought of you. Among all the emotions, I was so angry for the almost 5,000 that didn’t get to cross the finish line. I felt guilty because the physical injuries no doubt outweigh the DNF, but then decided there’s nothing wrong with feeling angry for the runners who weren’t injured by the bombs.

    We weep with those who weep, rejoice with those who rejoice. Sad for everyone, and thankful that all things work out according to His good purposes.

    {hugs} and healing, xoxo

  35. 35

    I have chills – God is watching over you, my friend. Sometimes we can see clearly why things didn’t go according to our plan…and this is one of those times. I’m grateful you are home with your family! :)

  36. 36
    Linda says:

    donate blood. The best way to help the boston victims and people in need in your area.

  37. 37
    Sondra Jarvis says:

    Kristin, I am glad that God put you where you needed to be when you needed to be there. The emotion of the last 24-36 hours has been a rollercoaster. I am glad you, your husband, and those two adorable boys of yours are safe at home.

  38. 38
    elizabeth says:

    ahh, should’ve read this post before the last where i pretty much commented on the same thing. I’ve been going through a lot (that i’ve kept out of social media) and have to remind myself that it does all happen for a reason, God has a plan and I am not in control. All I can do is pray for peace and guidance.

  39. 39
    Sarah says:

    I read your blog & thought of you yesterday. Don’t feel guilty, this is just a reminder to us that God is leading our lives and whatever happens to us, good, or bad, we are in His hands and He is our planner :) Things may not make sense to us at the time, but He is guiding us. We ALL need reminded of this often. You are very blessed!! And I know you will hug your little men (and your big one :) ) even tighter!! :)

  40. 40
    Stephanie says:

    I was thinking about you and how you were supposed to be there. God does work in mysterious ways. I’m glad you are safe with your family.

  41. 41
    Karla says:

    Kiss your kids, kiss your husband and cherish every god given moment that you have! Life can change in the blink of an eye! You are a lucky lady Kristin!

  42. 42

    I truly believe that things happen for a reason and God has a plan, even though we might not know or understand it at the time. I’m glad you are safe with your family!

  43. 43

    What a beautiful post. I too am glad you are home w/your family. My heart is with you Kristin! I continue praying for Boston!

  44. 44
    maria says:

    I finished in 3:28 at Boston and left the finish line area about 45 min before the first explosions went off. My mom, sister, and brother were standing just past the 26 mi mark and left to come meet me off the course about 40 min before. We went to a Starbucks 2 blocks away to go to the bathroom and didn’t even hear the blasts, only saw people running inside afterward. You are so right. God does work in mysterious ways. I feel so so lucky, but at the same time, guilty and helpless. Maybe all we can do is offer our support to those affected–but we can never underestimate the power of prayer!!

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